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I realize I've been terrible at LJ lately, especially considering I'm on my summer break and my job (WHICH I HAVE, YESSS) hasn't started yet, so I've mostly been sitting around at home doing nothing. (I also don't really have friends here - or rather, I have few friends here and they are generally busy, especially if I try to see more than one at once.) Anyway, I thought I'd post tonight. One of my biggest insecurities, for whatever reason, has always been my taste in music. So I'm going to post ten songs I love, with youtube links. Judge me all you want. :P

Notes: They are in no particular order. They are not necessarily my favorites. They are not necessarily representative of the full range of my taste in music, nor are they necessarily representative of their respective genres by any means. (See what I mean about this being an insecurity?) Okay.

Ten Songs I Love
I didn't realize how obnoxiously long this was until after I posted...haCollapse )

So yeah, that's my list! Hopefully all the links go where they're supposed to - let me know if something's wrong. I've avoided ads wherever possible.

Going to the beach tomorrow! Have a wonderful day.
<3 R
If you could meet your true inner self, what would s/he look like, and what would s/he tell you?

This is probably going to sound weird coming from me (with all my talk about *soul searching* and *finding myself* and other excuses to be self-absorbed in my writing and thinking) but I'm not sure a "true inner self" exists. I believe in personality, sure, but obviously we're shaped to a great extent by our experiences. How can I say that a certain way of behaving is not part of my "true self", when there is obviously a reason why I'm behaving the way am, a reason that has been elicited by my environment and experiences? 

Although there is the fact that I might not like the way I'm behaving, which would make me unhappy. "Finding oneself" could be thought of as determining those ways of being that don't lead to that dissatisfaction with oneself. For example, for me, I am unhappy with myself when I feel uncomfortable in a conversation and thus don't talk. Maybe this means that I am "naturally" more outgoing than that, so when I do converse to the level I am most comfortable with, I am being my "natural" self. In other words, my preferences for my own behavior reveal my character. Which means that I do have a "true inner self", in a way. Hmm.

This is always how I explained Harry Potter's being sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. We find out in Chamber of Secrets that he (*shock and horror*) "would have done well in Slytherin". But, as Dumbledore (ahhh I still love him so much <3) explains at the end, "It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities." Some have argued that this means Harry was "naturally" a Slytherin, but because he rejected that and chose instead to be a Gryffindor, that is where he was placed. Thus, who he is is like a good deed that he should get credit for. However, I always saw Harry's choice as one that he didn't actually have. The fact that he wanted to be in Gryffindor and that he was extremely uncomfortable with Slytherin (based on what little he had heard about it thus far: that Malfoy was rude and entitled and wanted to be there and that many Dark wizards had been there, including You-Know-Who) shows that he truly belonged in Gryffindor. Obviously we can see parallels to Gryffindor and Slytherin being good and evil (not quite as clear-cut, but essentially that is the picture we get), and I think this reflects on Harry in the same way. [/endgeekysemi-relatedtangent]

Anywayyyy...(hahaha wow I haven't thought about HP in forever!)...I am really not into philosophy. At all. This is not how I think, and it's really not that important to me to figure out whether I have an essence or not. I know I totally didn't respond to the intent of the original questioner, but ohh well. You all know wayyyyyy too much about me and my "true inner self" anyway. ;)

Two more weeks!
30 April 2011 @ 11:39 am
If you could only live in one season for the rest of your life, which would you choose, and why?

Hi everybody! It's been awhile, yes? If I missed any important life events, feel free to fill me in. :)

If I could live in one season for the rest of my life it would be SUMMER. Hands down. I ADORE summer. Keep in mind that I've lived in Florida for most of my life, where it essentially is perpetual summer already...I like it. Although perpetual Florida-summer-summer would kind of be hell, haha. It gets pretty hot. At the moment that idea doesn't bother me too much because it's only been really warm here for maybe a couple of days this year and I am sooo impatient for it to warm up. Also, because I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER! It's that much more exciting when it means I get to go HOME for the first time since January. That really is a significant amount of time, isn't it? Well I'm excited. Just a few more weeks. :)

Although I'm not thrilled about how the summer job search is going. I hate getting references. :P And I really don't have good ones anyway. They either haven't seen me in an actual job situation or they don't know me well enough to say anything that actually means something. Ehh. Hopefully something will work out.

07 March 2011 @ 11:44 pm
For Lent last year, I gave up Facebook, because it constantly ate my time. However, that was when I started using LJ for real, which as you all know has quite the time-eating potential. So basically that didn't help me much.

This year, I'm giving up Facebook again because it still eats my time, but I'm also giving up the other websites that distract me, including LJ. I'm sorry I won't get to keep up with you all, but this is important to me.

So, for those of you who observe, have a wonderful and productive Lent! For everyone else, have a great forty days. :)

This is so strange to me:

I come out of high school knowing exactly who I am. And I really, really like her. I don't know exactly where I'm going but I'm completely confident that I'll get there one way or another.

Then, as soon as I'm taken out of the context I've lived in my whole life, and I don't know who I am. Like, really. Even months later, having experienced much more than I ever have before, I am more lost than ever. Today, I come back from class and I look in the mirror and I'm like, who the hell am I? And it's not alarming, at least not at the moment. I can laugh about it with the people I've met who seem to feel the same way about themselves. It's just strange.

I guess the main thing I've gained from this experience is the knowledge that we depend on each other to understand ourselves. No man is an island. And when I think about all the amazing people in my life who have helped to make me who I am (whoever that is!), I am very, very grateful for that.
18 February 2011 @ 10:29 pm

I'm doing this meme, despite having been a horrible LJ friend recently without posting or commenting much, and despite the fact that I should be writing a history paper. Pshaw.

Read more...Collapse )

And I'm being a rebel and just tagging anyone who hasn't done this meme yet and wants to!
19 January 2011 @ 11:02 pm
 You know how I was bored, like, yesterday? Yeah, well suddenly things came up. I've been getting one or two emails a day for the past month, and today I got nine. All at once. It's a little frightening. Apparently my life is extremes: home = nothing happens and I'm bored, school = everything happens all at once and I'm stressed. I guess I asked for it by complaining about boredom and feeling like I'm ready to go back. :P

So here's some stuff:
  • I have homework already. My prof emailed my class, "Read x chapters for class on Tuesday." Ha.
  • I have to buy my books so I can do said homework.
  • The person who was my supervisor has a new job now, which means there's no one to supervise the job I've been doing, which means I don't have that job anymore. I also work in the dining hall, so I COULD just pick up more hours there, but ehh. I also have a way to get a new job but I have to find one I want to do. So basically I have to figure out what I want to do at this point, and then make it happen.
  • I have to pack, because I'm leaving Saturday. 
  • And I kind of have to clean my room in order to pack. Yes, it is that bad.
  • I have to order snow boots, which were supposed to be my Christmas gift but I wanted them sent to school so I wouldn't have to pack them.
  • I have to decide whether I want to do jazz band this semester. (I like playing, but I don't like practices, and they take up a lot of time when I could be doing other things, but I need to keep doing music and I don't know of anything better...yeah.) I guess I could wait until I get back to decide this, but I have to start practicing for auditions at some point.
...and other miscellaneous other tasks which I can't remember right now, which does not bode well for me remembering and accomplishing them. 
Well, this was a fun post! 
...not that I have a right to complain - I did say I was bored.
 Umm I'm super bored...

Actually really looking forward to going back to school now (despite the snow!). This has seriously never happened to me before. I think I've just managed to block out all the bad parts of last semester and only remember the good parts. I'm also kind of on edge because I'm waiting on an important email and it's taking longer than I would like. And I have nothing else to do, so blehhh. 

But I felt like posting so HERE! Have some beautiful awesome interesting hymn lyrics that I found. I love love love this - seriously, I took forever deciding on a couple lines for the title of this post because I love the whole thing. I know the ones I picked are really random but I like that part so oh well. :P I've never actually heard this hymn though. 

"Praise the Source of Faith and Learning"Collapse )

Sorry this is boring if you don't like hymns. :P
Have a good Wednesday! (or whenever you read this)

11 January 2011 @ 03:03 pm
 I think me missing everyone from school means I have left part of me up there...or something. It means I have something to go back to, at least. That's a good thing! I'm really happy about that, actually. I've been seeing all these posts on facebook of "I miss you, come backkkk!" so I know I'm not the only one either. (What would I do without facebook? It scares me that that's an unanswerable question. Eek.)

Meanwhile, I'm bored at home and LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT! Seriously, it's really nice. My sister's in high school, my parents are working, and I'm doing whatever I want, all day every day. I visited my high school the other day with a friend, and it was weird. Visiting makes it feel even more like a prison than it did when I was a student there. I was so trapped. I hate remembering what that felt like. College has had its not-so-pleasant moments, but I wouldn't for a MINUTE wish to be back in high school. 

My LJ has been pretty boring recently...I mean, unless you like hearing me whine about how my future is scary. Everybody's future is scary, but this is a new feeling for me. What happens after high school? College. What happens after college? Uhhhh...? haha. It's fine, though. Actually, I've been looking into grad schools (I get bored lol) and some seminaries have dual degree programs where I could get both a Master's of Divinity and a Master's of Social Work simultaneously. It would be four years (instead of the MDiv's three) but woah that's a good option. We'll see what happens when I actually have to make these decisions. :)

Uhhh any ideas for making my LJ more interesting? Oh okay, here: Comment and tell me something about your day! Even if we haven't talked in awhile or whatever, I don't care.