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02 March 2011 @ 02:43 pm
I've heard it too many times to ignore it, it's something that I'm supposed to be  
This is so strange to me:

I come out of high school knowing exactly who I am. And I really, really like her. I don't know exactly where I'm going but I'm completely confident that I'll get there one way or another.

Then, as soon as I'm taken out of the context I've lived in my whole life, and I don't know who I am. Like, really. Even months later, having experienced much more than I ever have before, I am more lost than ever. Today, I come back from class and I look in the mirror and I'm like, who the hell am I? And it's not alarming, at least not at the moment. I can laugh about it with the people I've met who seem to feel the same way about themselves. It's just strange.

I guess the main thing I've gained from this experience is the knowledge that we depend on each other to understand ourselves. No man is an island. And when I think about all the amazing people in my life who have helped to make me who I am (whoever that is!), I am very, very grateful for that.
 
 
 
afrobelle: Gazing in distanceafrobelle on March 2nd, 2011 09:11 pm (UTC)
This is more insightful than you know. Thanks for posting, this made me think a lot. I feel the same way.

Btw, have you read the book "No Man is an Island?" It's -great-.
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 3rd, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)
Cool, glad you liked it. :)

No, I've never heard of that!
(Anonymous) on March 3rd, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC)
Your post reminded me of it, and it has the same theme, though it is theologically centered. It is by Thomas Merton. You should check it out. It talks about the meaning of human existence, living life to our fullest human potential, and how we all need one another.
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 4th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
That sounds so cool, I will have to look into it!
RDM-ationrdm_ation on March 3rd, 2011 01:04 am (UTC)
Interesting.
It's certainly true about the people around you helping shape you into who you are - even if you don't know that yet.

I'm sure you've seen me flail about Darren Criss, and part of that is he is smart and insightful as well. I read this post, and have just spent a few minutes trying to find this quote.

"Everybody wants to know who you are, which is a very unfair position to be in because all of us are trying to figure that out on a consistent basis,” he says. “So it really forces you to evaluate and analyze yourself. It’s really forced me into really trying to solidify myself because if people are paying attention, it’s important to step up to the plate and make sure that [I’m] representing something positive.”

The first bit in particular is what I was referring to, we always seem to think we should have a concrete answer to this question - when in reality, it's *always* changing. Always. It's being happy to acknowledge that that makes the difference.

<3
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 3rd, 2011 04:40 am (UTC)
Yeah, I relate to that, definitely (aside from the not-being-a-celebrity thing). And yes, we're supposed to be changing.
chilielm: daydreamchilielm on March 3rd, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)
I love this post. I'm feeling the same thing.
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 3rd, 2011 04:41 am (UTC)
I think it's universal, yeah.
Katekatemacetak on March 3rd, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
I feel the same way, especially as I'm getting ready for graduation.
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 3rd, 2011 04:47 am (UTC)
Hmm, so would you say that you felt more confident in your identity now or in your first year? That's interesting because it seems like the seniors I know are all really distinct personalities and sure of themselves, but maybe it just seems that way? Or it's because I don't know enough seniors? I'm sure it will be a transition, wherever you end up.
Katekatemacetak on March 3rd, 2011 09:40 pm (UTC)
Really? Maybe we're more confident than we think. One thing that I'm experiencing, and most of my senior friends agree, is that I'm very confident about who I am here. But I have no idea what the future holds, and if the identity I've created in college will be able to hold up against the real world. Does that make sense? :/
everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 4th, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
Yes, that definitely makes sense, and I think that's it. A small liberal arts school is such a specific environment, so I can understand how it would be difficult to know how to go from that to the 'real world'.
Mistraliwith_rainfall on March 3rd, 2011 06:29 am (UTC)
And it's not alarming, at least not at the moment. I can laugh about it with the people I've met who seem to feel the same way about themselves.

It's great that you feel so good about not knowing who you are. :D

we depend on each other to understand ourselves
You're right. Very true <3
Mistraliwith_rainfall on March 3rd, 2011 06:31 am (UTC)
It's great that you feel so good about not knowing who you are. :D

Oh, I meant to add that it probably means you'll be prepared for anything, and be able to take whatever life throws at you, at least for now.

:)

everlastingwayeverlastingway on March 4th, 2011 08:32 pm (UTC)
Mmm, I wouldn't say I fell good about it, but I try to accept it as reality because that's what college is for, right?

I hope that's what it means! :)